Nick Wright thinks penalizing celebrations in pro sports is ABSURED - "The Herd"
By: Nate Scott| September 14, 2016 10:35 amFollow @aNateScott
With NFL Week 1 in the books, its time to take stock of the league and hand out some rankings, based on next to no evidence and irrational judgments Ive leapt to after barely watching these teams play. As my buddy Daniel Adler called in on the FTW Podcast yesterday, thisisthe Jump to Conclusions Week, so lets jump to some conclusions. POWER RANK TIME.
1. Pittsburgh SteelersThe Steelers were a sneaky Super Bowl pick for me, and they dismantled a supposedly up-and-coming Washington team on Monday night, moving the ball effectively and getting stops when they needed them.Also Antonio Brown has harnessed the pumping power of the McCringleberry. They will neverlose.
2.New England PatriotsMan. Theyre this good with Jimmy Garoppolo in there, and Rob Gronkowski is also yet to return. Bill Belichick could take half of my flag football team and the cast ofFriday Night Lightsand go 7-9.
Chris Humphreys-USA TODAY Sports
3. Denver BroncosWhen you beat the reigning MVP in the opening night game with someone named Trevor playing quarterback, thats a sign that you have a complete football team. Also: Im still not totally 100% convinced Trevor Siemian isnt a practical joke being played on me by the entire world.
4. Green Bay PackersMike McCarthy did just about everything in his power to lose that football game, but Aaron Rodgers and the rest of the Packers wouldnt let him. McCarthy is the NFLs Mr. Magoo who sort of blindly lucks into wonderful results by the skin of his teeth. Im almost rooting for him at this point.
5.Kansas City ChiefsIt took them a while to figure things out, and the Chargers gave them a run for their money, but Andy Reids boys put it together in the end and won the opener. Theyllbust through to bigger things soon.
6.Cincinnati BengalsI like this team. Yeah they had to squeak one past the Jets, but thats a nice win on the road to kick off the season. The AFC North battle between these two is gonna be fun. You heard me. Fun will be had. FUN WILL BE HAD.
7.Seattle SeahawksThey played terribly and won. Russell Wilson will be better, they still have Thomas Lou Rawls to return, and that defense is always good. Im not counting out the Seahawks yet, even if they didnt quite pass the smell test in Week 1.[Takes long inhalation through nose, passes out.]
8.Arizona CardinalsThey lost, but I still have them above a bunch of teams that won. What will that wacky Nate do with the Power Rankings next?I bet youre asking. Well, stick around, friend. Things are gonna get nuts.
9.Carolina PanthersThey won 15 games last year, so Im not counting them out yet, even though losing to anyone named Trevor in literally anything shoulddiscredit you.
10.Minnesota VikingsThus begins the great run of teams that looked pretty good and I have absolutely no feel for part of the Power Rankings. This section has a theme song. (The key part is when Thom Yorke singsI have no idea what I amtalking about.)
11. Oakland RaidersThey looked pretty good!
12. Tampa Bay BuccaneersThey also looked pretty good!
13. Houston TexansI didnt see much of this game, but I heard they looked pretty good!
14.New York GiantsThey looked pretty good!
AP Photo/Alex Brandon
15.Baltimore RavensThey looked pretty good!
16. San Francisco 49ersThey looked pretty good! Which is miraculous considering they should have lost by 90 points given all the Kaepernick distractions! Isnt that right, Trent Dilfer!? Wonder what happened there!?
17. Philadelphia EaglesI think theyre going to be medium, but on this weekend, they looked pretty good!
18.Detroit LionsThey scored a lot of points against the Colts, and looked pretty good doing so!
19.New York JetsI dont think the Jets are going to be terrible this year, and they hung around against a Bengals team Im high on. Keep an eye on them for the Wild Card, unless Belichick has somehow already cursed them with some potion he acquired from a shaman in Blefuscu, in which case sorry Jets, you suckers.
AP Photo/Bill Kostroun
20.Jacksonville JaguarsMy Jaguars are going to shock the league this year and make the playoffs prediction doesnt look so great after Week 1, but I believe in Blake Bortles. Count that as one of the saddest sentences written in 2016: I believe in Blake Bortles.
21.Miami DolphinsDefense looked good against the Seahawks, offense did not. Come on Tannehill, I enjoyed you onHard Knocksa few years ago. Put it together for old times sake.
22.Dallas CowboysTurns out building your offense around two rookies is going to be a little shaky at times. But theyre stillAmericas Team, dont you forget. Which means, well, it doesnt mean much. Actually doesnt mean anything at all.
23.Buffalo BillsRex Ryan got his lap band removed, apparently, out of loyalty to his brother Rob. So thats pretty interesting.
24. Indianapolis ColtsAndrew Luck should be able to sue the Colts front office for malfeasance.
25. Atlanta FalconsYeah they lost by a touchdown to Tampa Bay, but they hadstyledoing it. Just kidding.
Dale Zanine-USA TODAY Sports
26.New Orleans SaintsTheir defense stinks.
27. Tennessee TitansMariota looked pretty good and not muchelse did.
28. Washington RedskinsI had this team winning the NFC East, but after that lackluster performance I still think I have them winning the NFC East? I feel like 7-9 oughtado it. This team can win 7 games, right? RIGHT?!
29.San Diego ChargersThey put up a spirited fight against Kansas City and I still think this team will start 1-4 and fire Mike McCoy.
Orlando Ramirez-USA TODAY Sports
30.Chicago Bears[Boos]
31. Cleveland Browns[Boos louder]
32. Los Angeles RamsThat Monday night game was the saddestHollywood ending sinceBlue Valentine.I dont care if none of you saw that movie that was a good joke.
Source: http://ftw.usatoday.com/2016/09/nfl-power-rankings-week-2
