It"s not very original to compare the worldwide web to a monkey banging on a typewriter, but here we are. Millions of us have been banging on keyboards for many years now and somehow, somewhere, someone predicted the current predicament some are calling "Hiddleswift" two years before it happened, and with some eerily accurate details.
I"ll recap quickly for those who haven"t been keeping up: Taylor Swift broke up with her exceptionally boring boyfriend (a rich DJ named Calvin Harris) two weeks ago. On Wednesday, a bit unkindly, the entire Twittersphere was thrust into the ice-cold shower of a Sun exclusive. The British tabloid published several photos of Swift canoodling with Tom Hiddleston on a pile of rocks near her home in Rhode Island. The pictures showed them wearingleather shoes on a beach, which was equally disturbing to some. Me, I"m just wondering who made the insane rock sculpture in the corner of the frame.
this relationship already felt like fan fiction
The Sun also embedded a video of the two dancing at the 2016 Met Ball, where they met three weeks before Swift and Harris" breakup. They are both terrible dancers, and Tom"s tuxedo has tails.
Even as I type, these events seem improbable. What would the world"s biggest pop star have in common with a 35-year-old man who has only recently been able to book acting jobs outside the Thor universe? Who falls in love at a dinner partysponsored by a global tech corporation? Seriously, who takes the time to build aBlair Witch-inspired craft projectin between spit-swappings?
Yet, these events aren"t only real, they were predicted. Jennifer Stanley, a fan fiction writer who posts her work on Archive of Our Own, wrotea 12,000-word piece called "Wildest Dreams" in late 2014. It accurately predicts the celebrity relationship moniker that sprung up around the Hiddleston-Swift romance ("Hiddleswift!") and depicts the pair meeting at the 2015 Met Gala. It"s the wrong year, but I"m still chilled right down to my bone. Is Taylor Swift the all-seeing eye? It"s just a coincidence.
Some highlights from the most terrifying piece of fan fiction I"ve ever read:
Taylor Swift struggles to remember watching Thor.
"But there was a flash of blue eyes somewhere in the crowd that met mine and held my gazeif only for a split second. They were all too familiar, but where had I seen those eyes before? I bit the inside of my cheek after I had glanced away, losing focus of the conversation taking place in front of me as I fished through my mind like mad to figure out where I had seen them before. Where? Where?!"
Tom Hiddleston has strange anatomy.
"A cute chuckle rumbled out from his chest."
Taylor learns a lot.
"I learned so much more about Tom that night than I could ever imagine. h**l, I even learned so much about Ancient Chinese Culture."
The rest of the fiction is NSFW, and is tagged with a "s**t" warning. (Hey mom, I"m reading s**t at work!)
The oddest thing about the story is that Stanley integrated lyrics from Swift"s song "Wildest Dreams," making the encounter with Hiddleston serve as the creative impetus for the song. Hiddleston actually looks a lot likethe guy in the music video for "Wildest Dreams," which was released last August. He"s extremely Anglican-looking, and constantly wearing linen shirts. The video is also very "Old Hollywood," and Hiddleston is considered the frontrunner to take over the role of James Bond. I don"t know what I"m saying, really, but I wouldn"t be shocked to discover that Swift has had this stunt in mind for a very long time! Is it so hard to believe that Swift reads all the fan fiction about herself, carefully selecting the best plot lines to integrate into the Grand Narrative of Swift? I believe it! Okay, that"s absurd, she"s a person.
But how do you explainStanley"s sequel to "Wildest Dreams"? In "I Know Places," Hiddleston and Swift are hanging out in "the water," when their relationship is exposed prematurely by the media. It was written in April of 2015.
The real life "Hiddleswift" even feels like fan fiction they"re both pop culture figures that young internet denizens are extremely passionate about (Hiddleston is often referred to as"The Internet"s Boyfriend") and they have ostensibly nothing to do with each other. The only place they possibly could meet is at the Met Ball Manhattan"s annual party for anyone who is famous for any reason.
I don"t know why "Hiddleswift" has happened, but I do know, by the classic laws of probability, that it was just as likely to happen as any other thing. And while that is the basic premise of fan fiction, it is the antithesis of the premise of Taylor Swift"sexpertly curated life. In all our days on this messy Earth, we will never know what is random and what is Swift.
By: Stephen Douglas| 7 hours agoFollow @Stephen_Douglas
Alison Brie New York is bringing back Sunday morning drinking Disney has closed their beaches and they are pulling alligators out of the water Walmart will stop selling assault rifles Senator Chris Murphyfilibusteredfor nearly 15 hoursyesterday until Republicans agreed to vote on gun control measures BuzzFeed fired two video personalities who landed small roles in a mini-series an interview with Two Drunk Girls Mila Kunis is having another baby Taylor Swift is dating Loki Jennifer Aniston might be pregnant
Eugene Monroe was cut by the Ravens and his marijuana advocacy probably played a part in the decision. [PFT]
ESPN finally has an attribution process! [Sports Business Daily]
The first juror from the Brock Turner trial has spoken out. [Elle]
Oscar Pistorius walked on his stumps in court ahead of his sentencing. [Daily Mail]
The heartbreaking, but inspiring story of Royals farmhand Clayton Mortensen whose 4-year old son is battling cancer for the second time. [FOX Sports]
Now heres an awesome story about Ravens rookie Ronnie Stanley adopting a dog. [BarkPost]
Canadas curling community is being rocked by a new type of broom. [Global News]
Roy Firestone on regretting how he asked OJ Simpson about domestic abuse. [Huffington Post]
The trailer for the new South Park video game.
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Taylor Swift caught kissing Tom Hiddleston just weeks after breaking up with Calvin Harris [Photos]
The revelation of Hiddleswift/Swiddleston late Wednesday might have landed more like a anvil than anything else, but at least now there"s more conclusive evidence that THIS IS REALLY HAPPENINGand has, apparently, been happening for a while.
While promoting the Hank Williams biopic I Saw the Light, Hiddleston discussed what it was like waving his arms around like one of those windsock men at the Met Gala while his now-kissing-in-picturesque-places partner did the same.
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"I sat next to her at dinner that night and she"s very charming, she"s amazing," he said. "I"ve seen a couple of her videos. I think "Shake It Off" was released around the time we made I Saw the Light. And she"s very cool."
Spoken like a true dude who would go on to take selfies with her on a craggy outcropping.
Tom Hiddleston Talks THAT Taylor Swift Dance Off: "She"s Amazing"
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Tom Hiddleston"s celebrity impressions - The Graham Norton Show: Episode 2 - BBC One
Tom Hiddleston is now asked everywhere he goes if he is going to be the next James Bond
For the past three months, everywhere Tom Hiddleston has gone, hes been asked the same question: are you going to be the next James Bond? Thus far, hes been able to bat the issue aside with his trademark self-deprecating charm, saying simply: I dont know because nobodys talked to me about it. The position isnt vacant as far as I am aware.
Hes maintained all along that the only thing hes in the running for is a brisk jog around Londons Regents Park, which he does regularly, incognito in a blue baseball cap and earphones.
But a story that emerged yesterday changed everything. Daniel Craig has reportedly told MGM studio bosses he is done playing Bond, according to Hollywood insiders. Hes apparently even turned down a 68 million, two-movie offer to reprise the role which has already earned him 38 million since taking over from Pierce Brosnan in 2005.
Craig had sparked resignation rumours earlier this year when he said hed rather slash his wrists than play Bond again, adding: I have a life to get on with. Hiddleston, with his chiselled good looks, slightly ruthless demeanour and most importantly ability to wear a sharp suit under stress, was immediately in contention, ahead of names including Damian Lewis and Idris Elba.
Last week, he was reportedly spotted deep in conversation with Skyfall and Spectre director Sam Mendes and Bond co-producer Barbara Broccoli. This was followed by a flurry of bets being placed on him being the next 007, with bookmakers Coral eventually suspending betting.
Whatever the truth of the matter is, the whole issue has been an embarrassment to the actor. When he flew into Los Angeles last month for the U.S. premiere of BBC spy thriller The Night Manager, he complained that James Bond was the only thing he was being asked about.
Its a weird thing to have to deal with, he tells me when we meet for tea in Beverly Hills. Im having unreal conversations with people about this because I dont know where the rumours have sprung from.
Its difficult, because everyone has very strong opinions about Bond, and who should play him. My name is just an idea in peoples minds, yet its becoming overwhelming. I have no power to stop it, but I wish I could convince everyone that the whole thing is news to me.
Looking laid-back in a dark blue open-necked polo shirt over casual blue jeans, there is something ineffably Thirties about Tom Hiddleston.
Its partly the crisply waving light brown hair swept back from the clean-cut features, and the steady deep-set eyes; partly the impeccable manners and low-key, modest charm.
Meeting him in person is like having polite chit-chat with an amiable relative of Lord Peter Wimsey Dorothy L. Sayers fictional Edwardian dilettante turned detective rather than with a thoroughly modern 35-year-old who has fuelled fantasies for red-blooded women everywhere.
Thats especially since the steamy scene in the The Night Manager, where he and co-star Elizabeth Debicki made passionate love up against a wall, which must rank as one of TVs sexiest moments.
They looked like they were playing it for real so were they? He dodges the question with a laugh. Do you always ask people about how they make love? OK. Listen, the scene was an initiation of intimacy, and that is how Susanne Bier, the director, wanted it played.
It was interesting working with her. Shes Danish, and the difference between her and an English director is that shes incredibly direct about what she wants.
Hiddleston"s name was on the tip of everyone"s tongue after he proved his secret agent credentials with his role in The Night Manager (pictured), and steamy scenes with his top off lit up social media
She would say, routinely, I think we should go again its not sexy enough. And an English director would probably say the same thing, but they would preface it with lots of lovely adjectives Lovely, love what youre doing, fantastic. Now, maybe next time . . . and sort of coax you into it. But if Susanne didnt believe it, she just told you flat out, I dont believe it. Which I actually found quite refreshing.
Hiddlestons rise to prominence began with Shakespeare on the London stage. I was in a production of Othello and Ken Branagh, being the Shakespearean he is, came to see it.
He said hed like to work with me, so we did a radio play, and then a Chekhov play in the West End, and then he cast me to play his number two in the TV series Wallander. When I first came to Los Angeles, I was auditioning for everything, big movies, small movies, superhero movies.
Ken cast me as Loki in Thor. Bizarrely enough, Joss Whedon, who had also seen that Othello production, had loved it so much that he wrote me a very good part for Loki in The Avengers.
The s*x scene in The Night Manager, withactress Elizabeth Debicki, helped viewers see a new side to the actor
Then I got a letter from Woody Allen saying, Were making Midnight In Paris in the summer Id love you to play F. Scott Fitzgerald. To which the answer was a very quick, Yes! And then Steven Spielberg cast me in War Horse. So it was a very strange time when all these incredible moments of good fortune were happening. But it all started with Shakespeare, because I couldnt even get arrested before then.
The son of a chemist father and former stage manager mother, he cant remember a time when he was not acting in some way.
I spent my childhood running around my parents living room pretending to be Harrison Ford on a horse, wearing a hat, with the Indiana Jones theme tune playing in the background.
In the summer, my sisters, cousins and I used to write plays and perform them for our parents this is the days before Xbox and PlayStation, when kids were still kids.
When I was a teenager I loved watching Alan Rickman as Hans Gruber in Die Hard or Jack Nicholson as The Joker in Batman. Then as I got older, I discovered theatre, and thats when I started acting seriously.
It helped that what he modestly describes as his school just outside London better known as Eton College had a particularly strong drama department which spawned Eddie Redmayne, Damian Lewis and Dominic West among others. Wed get the train into London and wed go to the theatre, and thats where I was bitten by the bug.
Tom doesnt say whether other students on the trip included his schoolmates Redmayne or Prince William, because that would be name-dropping.
But when I mention them to him, his face lights up. I think Prince William is rather busy these days and has more important things to do than hang out with me! he says. But I see him sometimes at film premieres, which is nice.
There is something particular about the friendships you make at boarding school, because you are away from home at a very early age, so the bonds you form there are strong. The friends I made at school are some of the closest I have, and when I see them we just pick up where we left off the last time.
Eddie and I are very good friends still. Weve actually been fellow actors for 20 years now. There was a production of E.M. Forsters A Passage To India at school. I had a small part in the chorus and he had one of the leading roles he gallantly refrains from mentioning that the role in question was of the female lead, Adela Quested and one of my jobs was to play the right leg of an elephant he was riding on, which I still remind him of!
THE FIVE STEPS IN THE MAKING OF THE NEW JAMES BOND
The Eton factor: Bond creator Ian Fleming and Tom Hiddleston both went to Eton, as did 007 himself before being expelled for an incident with a maid. Tom looked sharp from an early age as a House Captain.
The Licence to Kill Tom first showed his hand-to-hand combat skills on stage in the Shakespeare plays Othello (left) and Coriolanus, before perfecting his action-man status as Loki in the Thor films.
The brooding looks: Mentor Sir Kenneth Branagh spotted Toms ability to light up the screen even when he wasnt talking when he cast him as his brooding side-kick Detective Magnus Martinson in nordic thriller Wallander.
The hunky body: Any fears Tom didnt have the body to play 007 were put to rest when he went for a dip in The Night Manager and was just as hunky as Daniel Craig in Casino Royale.
The ladykiller: In black tie or white, he looks to the manner born, as he proved at this years Baftas and New Yorks Met Ball, where he swept Taylor Swift on to the dance floor.
He has admitted that, when he announced his decision to become an actor, his father, a self-made man and the no-nonsense son of a Glasgow shipyard worker, was less than delighted.
He was genuinely worried that I would be bored and unfulfilled, he says. Acting was completely different from anything he knew. He didnt see it as a real job, but as something wafty and insubstantial.
The impasse was resolved when his father watched The Gathering Storm, a 2002 Second World War TV movie in which Tom played Randolph Churchill, son of the wartime Prime Minister.
It was a very rousing piece that showed Winston Churchill in all his complication and charisma. My dad called me in tears afterwards and said he was proud of me.
He admits that he was initially unsure himself whether acting was the right choice.
The odds of being a successful actor are quite small, so I suppose it did take . . . he stops and looks bashful, but cant see a different way of finishing the sentence, well, maybe a sort of courage and conviction for me to do it.
These days, he can pick and choose from the many roles he is offered, whether on TV, the big screen or in the theatre. In his two most recent movies hes played the American country music legend Hank Williams in the biopic I Saw The Light, and the emotionless neurologist Dr Robert Laing in High Rise, both of which garnered enthusiastic reviews.
Im glad all of this happened to me at the age of 30, rather than when I was ten years younger, he says. There can be a moment in an actors life where you become more well-known, and initially that takes a bit of getting used to.
If given the role, he would have a lot to live up to after Daniel Craig re-invented Bond"s body. But Craig has reportedly told studio bosses he is now "done" with the role
Ive been reassured by being surrounded by familiarity. I come from a very good family, and Im very close with both of my sisters and with my parents.
His elder sister Sarah is a journalist, younger sister Emma an actress, and both have helped him learn some valuable life lessons along the way. My mother and sisters are all strong and independent thinkers and have all taught me a lot.
What have I learnt? Oh, gosh . . . Well, first of all, I learnt always to compliment them on their haircut!
Its difficult to unpick what theyve taught me because its so much part of who I am. But I did notice when I was about 16 that my friends who had grown up exclusively around men just didnt understand women.
So is there a special lady in his life? He has been rumoured to be involved at different times with actresses Susannah Fielding, Kat Dennings, Jessica Chastain and, most recently, with his I Saw The Light co-star Elizabeth Olsen.
But he has steadfastly refused to make a public comment on any love interest although, he adds, polite to the last, I understand the curiosity. I hope that when theres really something to write about, Ill be able to talk.
And do his happily married contemporaries Eddie Redmayne and Benedict Cumberbatch, in particular with impeccable family-man credentials make him feel he should settle down, too?
Yes, Im going to rush out and find the nearest woman and put a ring on her! he jokes. Look, I think its great for both of those two, theyre both good friends of mine and Im so happy for them.
But its not something thats come into my life yet. Im not closed to it by any means in fact, Im definitely open to the possibility. But you know what they say: you cant go out and look for it, you just have to wait for it to come to you.
Samuel L Jackson and Tom Hiddleston Lose it Over Their Fan Art - The Graham Norton Show Everyone remain calm. We didnt think it was possible, but they may have just foundthe hottest James Bond yet Tom Hiddleston. Its not official, but fans are already losing their minds over the possibility. Check outthe epic reactions!
Daniel Craig, 48, is officially done playing James Bond. Fans were sad about that forall of one minute, before freaking out overthe possibility of Tom Hiddleston, 35, taking overthe role. Of course, he would make an amazing James Bond, but are the rumorstrue?
Daniel has reportedly turned down offers to reprise his role as James Bond intwo more films, which means the spot may now be open for someone else to take. And itdidnt take long for fans to start throwing around Toms name on Twitter, and from the looks of the responses, the studiosshould definitely give him some serious consideration.
Why shouldnt they!? He would be the perfect fit. Hes already insanely attractive, something numerous fans have mentioned, but hes also got that quiet mystery going for him as well. Like, you could imagine him sitting politely at a dinner table, but then dodging bullets without getting his suit dirty if the occasion called for it. It really doesnt get better than that, but not allfans totally agree.
Actually, many people are still rooting for Idris Elba, 43, to get the coveted role. We cant say we would be mad about that! Everyone has a different vision for what and who James Bond should be, so making everyone happy wont be possible. Fans seem to be divided every which way, but the ones who want Tom are very, very devoted.
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Everyone seems to have an opinion, although nothing has been confirmed on either Tom or Daniels side, so everyone needs to put down the pitchforks and calm down. There is still time to choose the next Bond, but whoever it is, its going to be absolutely legendary.
Do you want to see Tom play James Bond, HollywoodLifers? Are you sad to see Daniel go? Tell us below!
