Showing posts with label Usa Vs Costa Rica. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Usa Vs Costa Rica. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 8, 2016

Five national anthems you might hear tonight before USA vs. Costa Rica


USA vs Costa Rica 4-0 All Goals & Highlights Copa America 2016 HD

Kelley L c*x-USA TODAY Sports

In this 100th iteration of the famous old tournament, the host United States have gone to daring lengths in order to make the Copa America great again.

Yes, the western world"s preeminent leader in cultural erosion -- well-dressed white men on television like to call this "globalization" -- placed another feather in its exquisite cap just before the start of Sunday"s Mexico-Uruguay tilt in Glendale, Arizona. When it came time to play the Uruguayan national anthem, the paragons of gumption and industriousness manning the soundboard at University of Phoenix Stadium played Chile"s anthem instead.

Chile is not scheduled to play any games in Glendale.

"This evening during the pre-match ceremony, due to human error, we inadvertently played the incorrect National Anthem. We sincerely apologize to the Uruguayan Federation, the Uruguay National Team, the people of Uruguay and to the fans for this mistake. We will work with all parties involved to ensure such an error does not occur again."

What a way to foster togetherness, mutual understanding, and the laudable notion that "we"re all Americans" at the end of the day!

(To be fair, though, I want to stress the fact that Uruguay"s actual national anthem clocks in at a downright monstrous six minutes. That"s one hundred and five bars, or the equivalent of one Daveed Diggs verse. What the h**l is this, Atlas Shrugged? Who has time for that???)

But freedom"s march did not end with Sunday"s transgression. On Monday evening, when it was time to play Chile"s anthem for real in advance of their showdown with Argentina at Levi"s Stadium in Santa Clara, California,the song was cut off prematurely, superseded by a Pitbull track. Pitbull!

The players stood, proud and unbowed, and sang the rest of the song without the proper backing track. But musically speaking, Chile is off to a terrible start-- after the Glendale flub, Uruguay fell to Mexico, 3-1. In Santa Clara, Argentina handled the Chileans, 2-1.

One gets the feeling, however, that the musical hijinks have only begun.

With that in mind, let"s consider all of the possible anthemic disasters that might take place in the run up totonight"s Soldier Field slobberknocker between the United States and Costa Rica.

  • Panem ("The Horn of Plenty")

If the goal really is to make our nation great again, we ought to start with the excessively patriotic anthem of the fascist-tastic nation of Panem, ofThe Hunger Games infamy.Given the increasingly apocalyptic political climate of our tenuously united States, "The Horn of Plenty" packs the kind of verbiage we need to get us in the right mood to watch the increasingly apocalyptic U.S. Men"s National Team: "O, Capitol / Your glorious diamond shine / A tribute to / The darkest days behind / One Horn of Plenty for us all!" Gosh! Feels like home.

  • The Grand Duchy of Robonia

As a predictive model for global culture, Matt Groening"sFuturama is second to none. Let"s make this happen.

"Hail, hail, Robonia! A land I didn"t make up...."

Really, this begs a pertinent question-- why aren"t there more robots on the USMNT? Wouldn"t you rather have, say, a talking toaster oven or a snarky photocopier in goal instead of Brad Guzan?

  • Chile ("Himno Nacional de Chile")

Why not keep this thing going and see where it takes us?

  • Kazakhstan (Borat version)

It"s simply infectious, and germane to boot:

"Kazakhstan, greatest country in the world / All other countries are run by little girls / Kazakhstan, number one exporter of potassium / Other countries have inferior potassium."

There"s something to this potassium thing, because watching the USMNT generally makes me go bananas.

  • United States of America ("The Star-Spangled Banner" -- Carl Lewis version)
No offense to Francis Scott Key or any of the warriors that fell at Fort McHenry in 1814, but the actual tune of the American anthem was plucked straight from a British drinking song. Seriously! Look it up-- the original melody is called"To Anacreon in Heaven," and it"s about boozing.With that in mind, it makes sense that the occasional enterprising singer might want to spice things up a bit.R. Kelly brought the sexy like only he could.Roseanne went ham with a shameless rendition that was impossible to ignore. And of course, we"ll always haveSteven Tyler"s humble reminder that America is, in fact, the land of the free and the home of the Indianapolis 500.

But, in the context off the USMNT"s spectacular penchant for crashing and burning, we don"t just want to hear our anthem as such. No... we need it straight from arguably the greatest American international in any sport. We need it from Carl Lewis.

After all, who misses more high notes than the U.S. Men?

* * *

EDITOR"S NOTE: This is a work of satire. Thus, the opinions reflected above are probably not the actual opinions of the writer, as far as we know.

Source: http://www.hudsonriverblue.com/2016/6/7/11876620/national-anthems-you-might-hear-usa-costa-rica-copa-america

Continue Reading ..

USA vs. Costa Rica, Copa America 2016: Full Match Highlights


USA vs Costa Rica 4-0 All Goals & Highlights (Copa America 2016)

Mike DiNovo-USA TODAY Sports

The United States earned their first win of the Copa America Centenario with a 4-0 victory over CONCACAF foe Costa Rica.

Goals were scored by Clint Dempsey, Jermaine Jones, Bobby Wood, and Graham Zusi. Dempsey was a standout player in the match, scoring one goal and adding two assists. The goal was his 50th goal for the senior national team, putting him within striking distance of Landon Donovan"s record of 57 goals.

Brad Guzan, who plays his club soccer with English Championship club Aston Villa, was in goal for the shutout.

Here are the highlights via FOX Soccer:

Doug McIntyre of ESPN FC pointed to veteran leadership as the key point in the win:

For all the pre-match talk about the younger U.S. players -- specifically 25-year-old Darlington Nagbe and 17-year-old Borussia Dortmund wunderkind Christian Pulisic -- in the squad, grizzled World Cup vets Dempsey and Jones were the Americans" best players in the Windy City.

Dempsey, 33, took his high-stakes PK with confidence, sending Pemberton diving the wrong way for his 50th international goal, and "Deuce" was involved in just about every U.S. foray forward in the first half. Meantime, the 34-year-old Jones, who many U.S. fans (and more than a few media members) suggested earlier in the week should sit in favor of Nagbe, was the team"s best player.

The match was played at Soldier Field in Chicago, Illinois.

The U.S."s next match is Saturday against Paraguay at Lincoln Financial Field in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. They lost their first match of the Copa America to Colombia, 2-0.

Lineups

United States: Brad Guzan, John Anthony Brooks, Geoff Cameron, Fabian Johnson, DeAndre Yedlin, Michael Bradley, Jermaine Jones, Alejandro Bedoya, Clint Dempsey, Bobby Wood, Gyasi Zardes

Substitutes: Alejandro Bedoya, Kyle Beckerman, Chris Wondolowski

Costa Rica: Patrick Pemberton, Johnny Acosta, Francisco Calvo, Oscar Duarte, Ronald Matarrita, Cristian Gamboa, Celso Borges, Christian Bolanos, Bryan Ruiz, Joel Campbell, Marcos Urena

Substitutes: Randall Azofeifa, Jose Salvatierra, Alvaro Saborio

Source: http://www.starsandstripesfc.com/2016/6/7/11880044/usa-vs-costa-rica-copa-america-2016-full-match-highlights

Continue Reading ..